“Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus”–Now, how many times have you rolled your eyes at this and wondered shouldn’t it have been a cliche by now? Yes, there is the apparent estrogen and testosterone bridge that needs to be crossed, but indeed if we take a closer look at it, is it a Herculean task, to understand women? Patriarchal conformity has shaped our thoughts in a manner that sums a woman as an emotionally driven individual, finicky in her stride resulting in unpredictable idiosyncracies! Breaking news guys that is NOT the case at all!
What we do if we want to have a good grasp of Pythagoras theorem?
The answer is we start with establishing a firm knowledge of a right angle triangle. Similarly, to woo a woman, you need to understand her heart — What she feels, why is she feeling that way and how can you make it easier for her. Sounds daunting? No worries, in here you will find all that you need to hear a less of “You never understand me.”
EFFORT IS EVERYTHING
Women are more in touch with their compassion than men are! We are not hesitant to give it our all when we think that the person is right for us. For a relationship to work, by the virtue of their nature, women forgo a lot of things, from their inhibitions to fears to insecurities. A hefty amount of sacrifice from her part goes into keeping the relationship steady. It is normal human nature to expect something after relenting this much. Her expectations rise from her participation and a caring partner makes all the effort to express his love for her. Sometimes it is conveyed by a simple thank you and sometimes by a peck!
It is never too late to make your woman feel special. If your girl likes flowers and chocolates, it is never a bad idea to turn up on her door, out of the blue, with a bouquet and a box of her favourite sweets. If she is into wine-and-dine, a bottle of Merlot and a movie marathon will do the trick or if you are an old soul at heart, the old-fashioned letter embodying your emotions is way more exquisite to her than any 2-carat Harry Winston!
It is fine at times when you want to hang out with your buddies and include her in the mix. However, the sparks between you two will only flare up in the absence of any third wheel. Girls prefer intimacy and romance and amidst the cackles of your friends it is, mark my words, impossible. Allow her that comfort zone to get close to you, to know you. Take her out for a lunch or dinner, let her know that you too are in it as much as she is. In short, allow the fire, to warm you both.
NICE GUYS DON’T FINISH LAST
Stability is good than leather jackets period. Kindness is the tortoise to the playboy rabbit. Hence in order to win the race, bring out all the big guns–the sweetness, the chivalry, the compassion. Trust me, our attraction towards security supercedes the lure of the infamous “bad-boy charm”, any day. Since it is trustworthiness we strive for, your gentlemanly attitude will only score you brownie points. Honestly, because the whoosh-and-swoosh is so overrated!
DON’T SAY IT, BE IT
This might seem a bit confusing to what I said previously, but bear with me, I’m all for solving your dilemmas! There is a mighty fine line between words of mouth and actions and it takes a moment for any women to pick-up on that distinction. Align your words with your actions, be a gentleman in action rather than words, your actions will relay more than your words ever can. We are literally tired of frogs and no fools to encourage one either, so be worthy of the crown and throne that she knows you deserve because there is only false pride in letting people down.
Lest if you might think that your sweetness must be the touchstone to her ‘yes’, then allow me to defeat that misconstrued notion and tell you, it is not at all the case. She is not liable to owe you anything whatsoever for your ‘apparent’ sweetness. If your tenderness isn’t a by-product of your inherent nature, then sir, kindly take a step back!
Now since we have already stepped into the ‘step-back phase’, it is of utmost importance for every guy to have a clear understanding of the concept of consent. If she doesn’t want to date you she doesn’t have to. Don’t be a lousy excuse for a man, for one, we have plenty of them and secondly, your nicety isn’t a gift for the humankind, so get off that high pedestal and if you are true to the core, accept it and move on!
Your pleasant nature doesn’t need any marketing, your actions will ‘walk that talk’ for you!
THEY DON’T OWE YOU A SMILE
Catcalling is a grave concern at hand. It is not only peevish but also disgusting and pathetic. It is like the rotten dish that makes your skin crawl. After a long stressful day at work, all you want to do is get into the comforts of your home and wash away all the fatigue of the day, now added in that strenuous mix is a creepy and unwanted yell across the street, “Hey, baby!” with the whistle as the background score and as you openly portray your disgust at that, you hear “the least you could do is smile a little” (with a wink, of course). Imagine a scenario exactly like that and tell me how would you feel! Frustrated, angry, right?! This is the consequence of the society’s attitude towards women–the fact that women are supposed to be the prim, proper and ever smiling gift of nature has spurred on this kind of demands. So if your girl is stressed, give her the required space and be her cushion as she knows you to be! She is made of the same things as you’re and thus bound to feel all the emotions as you would.
Be empathetic as she is when you crib about your day!
Decent behaviour is a sure-shot recipe for success be it for somebody’s heart or the world. The fact that you do not undervalue the most important woman in your life is admirable. It not only reflects the way of how you appreciate the people in your life but also aids your approach to women! It is a one-way pass to a woman’s heart and also an assurance that you know how to treat them properly.
HONEST PLAYERS GET A PASS
The big C word that this generation has developed a phobia of–Commitment. In the context of the world that we’re currently living in, commitment can be a thing of dread. Not everyone wants it nor everyone is afraid of it, but in most cases, a lack of communication regarding this issue has caused a lot of tears. So save yourself the misunderstanding and get familiar with each other’s opinion and perhaps, then find a ground that suits you both.
Honesty is the first and foremost requirement especially when you’re seeing more than one person at once. Be on the safe side and come clean about it, relay your intentions clearly and also get a clear picture of their situation. You do not want to end up on different pages because that will only lead to disappointment and heartbreaks. In this caliginous era of digitization, there are indeed a lot of fishes in the sea and we have been made adept in the art of fishing, getting a clear idea of what she wants the status of your relationship to be–inclusive or exclusive, is quite crucial.
GHOSTING LEAVES THE DOOR OPEN
Ghosting as succinctly defined by Urban Dictionary is “The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date.”. It communicates nothing but immaturity and selfishness and the effect it has on the girl goes beyond our level of comprehension. Do not practice it, if you do not want to be on the receiving end because, in the end, you get back what you give! Be clear to yourself about your intentions and be even clearer to her! Nothing beats the old brew of honesty.
THEY RECOVER FROM BREAKUPS FASTER
Contrary to the popular belief girls actually get over a heartbreak faster than their male counterparts because they feel the brunt of the grief fresh-off-the-boat and once they’re done with it, she won’t even give you a glance back! While on the other hand for guys the pain arrives quite late and then the begging follows, but then its already too late, isn’t it? So before you take a decision like this, reevaluate the reason and the consequences and then move forward with it.
THEY THINK YOU’RE BEING
The banalest deal-breaker of all is and its counterpart Misogyny. Nothing will put off your girl more than the fact that you’re a swine. Feminism is the need of the hour and nothing is good than the men who have a true perspective of it and equates it with parity rather than joining the troop of archaical men. Look around and hear the screams of anguish around you, understand the core of it and wake up as the 21st-century human. If your girl, calls you out on something, review your words and actions, being headstrong at this point is NOT advisable at all! A compliment which might seem harmless to you now may prove lethal to your girl. So be open-minded and accommodating about it.
It’s time to brush up on your basic if you already haven’t and create your own opinion about it rather than the popular ones doing rounds everywhere. Decide if you really want to join the men on the bandwagon of toxic masculinity or the ones on the sensible humanity?
KEEP IT SLOW
In our childhood the motto that the ‘slow and steady wins the race’ works like magic while sailing through the turbulent course of relationships and love. Don’t be hasty, keep up the good pace and you will catch all the green signals in your way and safely navigate through the red ones.
Skipping these steps will sink your ship faster than the Titanic. We want to make love not a tragedy and then even the physical aspect of your relationship will intensify to a point beyond your imagination. Treat her right and she will lay down the world at your feet!