3 different ways you get attached in a relationship.

 

Love is the best feeling anyone can experience be it with the parents, children, caregivers or anyone.  And, the people living in a relationship may experience this feeling differently with their partners.

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People tend to get attached to their partners in different ways. The three most prominent ways are secure attachment, avoidant attachment, and anxious attachment. These terms were coined by psychologist Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver in 1980’s.

Let’s have a look at these ways.

1. The secure style of attachment

People who tend to have secured relationships when they were young can lead to stability in their relationships when they grow up! Because, from the beginning they didn’t face trust issues so, they face secured connections when they grow old.

They do not fear giving love to the ones who need it. They are not afraid of their partner leaving them and do not have any hidden feelings which may ruin their relationships badly. You feel confident about your partner and try to maintain a stable relationship by fighting with the problematic situations.

2. The avoidant style of attachment

Such type of an attachment is experienced by the people who have faced betrayal in the former years. They do not try to take a step ahead and venture out with their partner until and unless they trust their partner completely.

They are afraid of expressing themselves and make less or no efforts to open up to their partners especially because of the problems they had faced when they were in the previous relationship!

 

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You tend to withdraw from getting close to your partner. However, too much of avoiding in a relationship may lead to devastating effects on you and your partner.

3. Anxious style of attachment

People who strive hard to make a connection with the other person but fail to make one or they have to meet a specific criterion to enjoy the acceptance of other may hamper their ability to handle a relationship. This style of attachment comes into play when you feel that your love will be reciprocated when you win their favor.

It may even lead to insecurities and anxieties creeping in. There is a constant fear that your partner might ditch you if they find someone better or another school of thoughts being that your partner does not love you. 

One thing you need to remember here is not to come up with anger or frustration at your partner as there are chances of the lovers being drifted apart in such a case.

 

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